


Dexter's Diner

by UnapologeticallyMeatwad



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker is Ridiculously Powerful, Another Happy Landing, Character Study, Dexter Jettster's a Good Guy, Friends to Enemies, M/M, Mutual Pining, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs Therapy, Retelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 04:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20057779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnapologeticallyMeatwad/pseuds/UnapologeticallyMeatwad
Summary: Dexter shakes his head. "Why can't you just lie, Obi? Let this one slide.""Because — because — " Because Yoda is going to search his mind when he senses something's off with Obi-Wan? Because Obi-Wan is not only a terrible liar, but too invested in this for it to not be as clear as day to anyone as skilled as Yoda? Because this love is too good to hide? " — because I like you Dex."Dexter finally smiles. "Hey, well, whaddaya know?"





	Dexter's Diner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aurae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurae/gifts).

Too much is happening at once, and for some reason, Obi-Wan feels like he's supposed to be better equipped to deal with it all. Not only is Master Qui-Gonn dead, not only was his murder triggered by the resurgence of the Sith, but Obi-Wan now has to take care of this ragtag Jedi they found on a desert planet. Bad enough when they celebrated on Naboo, but they're doing it again on Coruscant and Obi-Wan can't not make an appearance.

Anakin Skywalker is a handful by the way, and certainly not equipped to be dealing with all of this. This celebration on Naboo is a lot of visuals and sound — Anakin just sits off to the side all squinty-eyed. They don't do things like this on Tatooine, except maybe for Podracing but when you imagine the political implications of powerful people allowing riders compete for money and sometimes die… well, that's poor reason for celebration.

Obi-Wan would like to just move on as things were, but Anakin is having sensory overload. So when the midday fireworks start popping, Obi-Wan does what he should have done on Naboo and tosses his cloak back on and sneaks Anakin off down an alleyway until they find somewhere quiet.

Dexter's Diner is this tin can of a building, pretty small, wedged between towering skyscrapers. Obi-Wan's never heard of the place so he chooses this. Any business named after the owner should be quiet. So they go inside.

Far mustier than what Obi-Wan is used to, but at least there's a lot of daylight. Obi-Wan orders a black coffee and leans back while Anakin peruses the menu. Normally, Obi-Wan would put on some kind of restriction for how much Anakin can order, but he's too depressed to bother — Anakin is not used to dining out and will easily order the whole shebang, but that's okay. The boy deserves to be happy, that's why Qui-Gonn wanted him off that horrible planet, right?

It's confusing.

What is Obi-Wan supposed to be to this kid? A father figure? An uncle? An older brother? He's definitely feeling the older brother thing, because again, _he is not equipped to deal with all of this once_. He barely felt like an adult a week ago, and despite the fact that he killed this super scary Sith Lord creep, he still feels like a kid.

"Eh, a Jedi, whaddaya know?" a deep voice wheezes. Obi-Wan looks up to see a friendly looking Besalisk staring down at him in wonder. Based on the grease stained white t-shirt, it's highly likely he's a staff member. Obi-Wan looks to Anakin. "Anakin, could you scooch over?"

Anakin tears himself from the menu and looks up in equal wonder at the Besalisk. "Are you Dexter?"

"Oho, yes I am," Dexter laughs, sliding into the booth, two of his four arms extending to Obi-Wan. One to hand off the steaming cup of joe and the other to shake his hand. He's got a strong grip. Very charming though: sweet eyes, a silly laugh, and a friendly gleam.

"What?" Obi-Wan laughs, "Anakin, how'd you know his name?"

Anakin rolls his eyes and flips up the menu. Right. _Dexter's Diner._ Whoops. The kid cranes his neck up at the behemoth. "Are you an angel?"

Obi-Wan's turn to roll his eyes. If he had a credit for everytime Anakin asked someone that… though if he stays intent on using that line with everyone, he's going to end up sounding like a slimeball once his voice drops.

"Sorry," Obi-Wan finally returns. "I was just trying to get off the streets. Didn't notice the name, just seemed, ah…" He scans the place fast. It is very grungy, and as Obi-Wan is reluctantly a member of the upper-class, it's far from his usual settings. "... humble," he finishes with the tilt of a head. "I feel comfortable."

"Well thank you kindly my friend," Dexter grins, crossing two of his arms at his chest. "We've never had a Jedi at Dexter's Diner! But why aren't you at the big party?"

Obi-Wan imagines Yodi and Mace Windu sitting at the bar drinking milkshakes while talking about their anal policies, and laughs to himself. "It's a bit much for me. And Anakin too."

"I'm not overwhelmed," Anakin frowns.

"You definitely are, little one, but don't worry about it," Obi-Wan laughs and looks at Dexter's eyes. For some reason, he doesn't want to turn away.

Dexter shakes his head and plants two of his big hands on the table. "But you're a hero!"

What Obi-Wan is supposed to say here is _Oh no, citizen! I'm no hero, I'm just doing my job. But you _— _you are the hero! There's a hero in all of us! Have faith in the Force and _fuckity fuck, ugh. So _civilized_. So disingenuine.

"Sure," Obi-Wan shrugs and he's positive that Yoda's ears just started pricking up. He can see it quite clearly. Yoda, wherever he is, tugs on Windu's sleeve and looks up at him gravely. _I sense a disturbance in the Force._ "Oh! Um. Obi-Wan Kenobi by the way. That's Anakin Skywalker."

Dexter mouths a little _Ooh!_ and awkwardly stretches his hand out again. "I'm Dexter. But I guess you knew that already."

Obi-Wan's mouth stretches about his face, flashing his first genuine smile since he saw Boss Nass do that weird thing with his cheeks, and takes a sip of the coffee, which is actually pretty good.

It's odd. He's taking the conversation so slowly with this man. As if he _wants _it to be as long as possible. But then Dexter gets up with a start and gestures back to the kitchen. Meaning that so much was _not _said that Obi-Wan simply must come back to finish the conversation and…

"I gotta get back to work, Master Obi-Wan — "

"You don't have to call me Master," Obi-Wan chuckles. "I haven't even been granted the title of Master — "

Anakin pipes up, "How can you train another Jedi and not be called Master? That's outrageous, it's not fair!"

Dexter actually comes across as more jolted from that. Because from his point of view, Jedi are simply not allowed to express any kind of emotion, especially_ that_. But Obi-Wan is feeling a little hands off today, so he chuckles it away and shrugs amicably to both Anakin and Dexter. "I'll try to come back soon, okay Dex?"

Dexter's smile is so wide it's impossible not to beam back at it. "Okay, _Obi_."

* * *

It's refreshing to be doing some simple field work. Lately, it's been a lot of flights to other planets to speak with these so-called _Separatists_. Barely any action, just boring diplomacy, the kind of stuff Qui-Gonn absolutely hated.

Of course now that Obi-Wan is training little orphan Annie, he is starting to understand how influence rubs off. Qui-Gonn did a lot of stuff he wasn't supposed to do, and it lead to Obi-Wan doing a lot of stuff he wasn't supposed to do either. But now that he's watching his pupil absorb all that bad attitude stuff like a sponge, it's clear that he needs to stern up a bit.

Not just because Anakin is a Padawan, but because he's _Anakin_. He's this funny, scrappy kid from Hell. An awful combination of class clown and valedictorian. He _needs_ to get it together, that way he won't draw even more attention to himself.

There's a problem with this field work though — Dexter was at the Death Sticks site. Yeah. Not good. He's been a regular at Dexter's Diner for too many years to not clock the guy.

The job starts off simple — find the centerpiece of the Death Stick scene and plug it where it's bleeding. But for whatever reason, when Anakin and Obi-Wan sneak in through the skylight of the warehouse, Obi-Wan's eyes fall onto Dexter who immediately huddles away into the corner. It is a distraction long enough to give the Death Stick guys ample time to pull out their blasters and —

— well, it's the_ fifth_ time Anakin has saved Obi-Wan's life. (Anakin is 12 by the way, so that looks _great_ on Obi-Wan's resume.) Anakin leaps down from a girder just in time to parry back several of the potentially lethal blaster bolts and instead of then using the Force to stop the gangsters, he leans back with this horrible smile and says, "That's five times, Master." because when will Anakin ever take anything seriously.

Hence the chase. Not with Dexter, thank the Force. Anakin doesn't spot Dex, so it's easy for Obi-Wan to let him sink away into the shadows. So they end up chasing the whole gang, Anakin hanging back to arrest some goons while Ob-Wan tails the speediest of the gangsters.

Obi-Wan ducks down a narrow alleyway, mist kicking up from all the vents and sewers, the runner far enough ahead that his silhouette keeps fading into the next blue plume. Eventually, Obi-Wan gets frustrated and turns all of his confusion and anger towards Dexter into something raw, and he Force Leaps so ridiculously far that he passes over the runner.

Obi-Wan flips in the air, feeling weightless, and waves a hand through the sky until he catches something tangible, and he moves with the sway of the Force so that his feet firmly plant themselves against the wall. He clings to it like a spider, pain knocking into his knees, and his face scrunches up in even deeper concentration and all of a sudden, a Force Push shoves the runner flat on his back.

Obi-Wan lands on the ground, pulling the handcuffs out from under his robe, but his eye catches on something blue waving in the distance, brighter than the mist. "Anakin, put that thing away!"

Anakin's silhouette breaks from the mist just in time for Obi-Wan to see his eye roll. He deactivates the lightsaber and stuffs it into its holster, run falling into a walk. "Can you show me how to do that?"

"What?" Obi-Wan's eyebrows shoot up. He really doesn't feel like having to teach Anakin yet another thing he doesn't need to know.

"You're the worst," Anakin's smile is so cavalier. He walks up to the runner and grabs him by the wrists, pulling him in. "Hey, I got this one."

"What? No, Anakin, I have to teach you how to do the paperwork and filing for…"

Anakin just leers at Obi-Wan, and finally his master breaks. "...oh fine, you can do it. But what for? Do I seem tired to you? Do you think I need the night off? Just because you've saved my life five times — "

"Six," Anakin interrupts. "I forgot about the time Jar Jar—"

"Oh, right," Obi-Wan swats at the air. "But seriously, why? It's out-of-character."

Anakin frowns. "Well that was Dexter back there, right?"

Obi-Wan's whole face falls.

"I think you should talk to him," Anakin shrugs with that childish naivete of him.

"Anakin, you know I can't — " Right. Learning moment. " — _we_ can't. Jedi aren't allowed to have friends or loved ones, we have to be impartial because sometimes things like this — "

Anakin's eyes get all wide and that is something Obi-Wan can't handle.

"Very well, fine, I'll go talk to Dex. But Anakin…" Obi-Wan purses his lips. "Not a word to Windu, and do the paperwork right this time."

Anakin frowns and briefly looks at the runner as if he might as well just drop him and keep going, but he finds a smile and shoots it back to Obi-Wan. "I'll knock three points from the six saves if you — "

"Anakin, _no_."

* * *

"Is Dexter here?"

"Yeah, he's in the back."

"Could you get him for me?"

It's the first time Obi-Wan has ever been to the diner in his full Jedi ensemble in Dexter's Diner. Cloak folded over his beige robes, hood hung over his face. On the way down to the place, he was supposed to practice some kind of dialog to have with Dexter but he was too distracted with the general dread of it all to bother.

So when Dexter comes out with a fresh mug of coffee — Obi-Wan can tell it's fresh, Dexter's fresh stuff has a perfectly even surface to it, his mustier stuff bubbles and has odd discolorations, at least, that's what the other customers drink — Obi-Wan doesn't really know what to say.

The two sit across each other and Dexter frowns. "I can explain, Obi."

"I'm sure," Obi-Wan says. "But you know that I'm — erm — " He nervously makes eye contact with the Droid waitstaff, who thankfully takes the hint and hits up the breakroom. " — I'm a Jedi; I don't get to make distinctions. I should arrest you."

Dexter bows his head, massaging his temple with all four hands. "I know what it looks like, Obi, but — those gangsters are small fries to heroes like you, but for me? Li'l ol' Dex? I don't stand a chance."

Obi-Wan frowns. "Did they hurt you?"

"No."

"Hurt someone you love?"

"No, Obi, don't be so dramatic — "

"Well then tell me! I need something, Dex, I can't just — pass it over!"

Dexter frowns again, and it really does hurt. He's too good a man to frown. "They asked for some storage space. Um. In exchange for protection. This was a while back, but we've had an arrangement."

Obi-Wan nods, jaw locked into place, so it hurts to talk. "Is there money involved?"

Dexter sighs. His voice is normally deep, but when he gets worked up like this, this high-pitched whine echoes with his croaks, lining every word in distress. "Not initially. But we um — business isn't great. I mean, don't get me wrong, Obi, you tip well but — " He smiles at his little joke, but it doesn't last long. " — a lot of shady characters come here and talk pretty loudly about stuff no one is supposed to hear. So I've taken to selling information. Call it my side hustle."

"Oh, Dex," Obi-Wan buries his face in his hands. He's thankful he's alone for this. Anakin would make this harder. Because then he'd have to play by the rules. "Oh! I got it. Dex. Um. Take my hand, please."

He extends it across the table, but Dexter's yellow eyes look at him so cautiously. He tilts his head to the side. "Obi…"

"Please, Dex. Just trust me. You're going to shake my hand in exchange for freedom, with the small price that you'll sell information to me in place of these scumbags, okay?"

He's desperate. He knows Dexter can see it, because he snorts. "I'm not taking your money, Obi…"

"But you have to! It's for the books, the Jedi — I can't _not_ record it."

Dexter shakes his head. "Why can't you just lie, Obi? Let this one slide."

"Because — because — " Because Yoda is going to search his mind when he senses something's off with Obi-Wan? Because Obi-Wan is not only a terrible liar, but too invested in this for it to not be as clear as day to anyone as skilled as Yoda? Because this love is too good to hide? " —_ because I like you Dex_."

Dexter finally smiles. "Hey, well, whaddaya knoooow?"

Obi-Wan finds himself blushing and he's once again very thankful that Anakin is not around.

* * *

Years pass on. Obi-Wan sort of stagnates and it's Anakin who grows far more powerful. Even after he loses an arm to Count Dooku, Anakin continues to move ahead by leaps and bounds. He moves faster than even Yoda sometimes, so determined to always _win_. Because he sees this all as a game.

But it's wartimes and no one wants to say anything. Because Anakin is winning, and battles need t be won. No ifs or buts about it. The Jedi have already outsourced their army by taking on the Clones, things are bad…

(Yet no one knows about Dex's little piece in that. No one can know really, but it was his tip that brought Obi-Wan to Kimino.)

Anywho, Anakin and Obi-Wan have another runner tonight, and this time, they're too slow. The runner climbs into his Speeder before blasting off into the busy airline traffic of Coruscant. Not that will stop Anakin, who Force Jumps off of the building ledge and manages to cling to a far-off wall just like Obi-Wan did many years ago. From there, Anakin dives off the side and tumbles past legions of speeders — miraculously… or not miraculously, it was the Force, rather — and lands on top of his prey.

The runner swerves recklessly to throw Anakin off, but it's far too late. Anakin has already withdrawn his lightsaber, and he spikes it into the speeder, sending off spark after spark. Sparks keep flying until there's so many that Obi-Wan almost misses the speeder losing altitude and drifting down.

Anakin rolls off the side and lands on a rooftop several stories below Obi-Wan and holds out his hand, fingers thumping against his palm and somehow, the speeder freezes in the air. The whiplash from the sudden halt shoves several loose pieces of equipment forward and more sparks fly. Anakin growls and swings his arm to the right, knocking the speeder onto the balcony of some stranger.

Oh dear.

Obi-Wan jumps off the roof without a second thought. He knows where this is going.

By the time Obi-Wan has landed, Anakin has a chokehold on the runner, now dragged out of his smoking vehicle. "Tell me," Anakin's eyes go yellow when he's angry like this, but his voice stays at a whisper, so calm, so even. "Tell me who you work for."

"Anakin — " Obi-Wan raises a hand towards Anakin's hunched over form.

Anakin ignores him. "Last chance, sleazebag." His fist tightens and the runner _screams_, tumbling to his side in agony. It's hard to say from this vantage point, whether Anakin is biting into every nerve ending this man has, or if he's probing his mind for information. Both feel pretty wretched.

"Anakin, stop it at once!" Obi-Wan shouts in a shrill enough voice that it breaks Anakin's concentration.

When Anakin turns back, his skin is stretched taut across his face, eyes still beady and yellow. "I don't care. If I'm strong enough to do it, then why not allow me? People are dying Obi-Wan and we need — "

"There are other ways."

" — uh huh, well then maybe explain to me why we have to fight scum like him still?"

"I — " Obi-Wan takes in a deep breath. " — don't know."

Anakin nods back, lips flubbed together, wrinkles in his forehead. Probably about to cry. But Obi-Wan is not about it tonight. He used to feel sorry for Anakin and maybe he still should — but these patterns are too constant. He can't keep forgiving this child for turning into a monster.

But still, Obi-Wan slips. "I'm scared too, Anakin. Listen, you can't tell anyone I'm telling you this, but I — " He wraps an arm around Anakin's shoulders and pulls him in, looking him square in the eyes. " — I have an informant. You remember Dex, right?"

Dim recognition. "Oh."

What a reaction. Obi-Wan steers Anakin away from the runner and holds him at an arms' length. "He's my guy."

"... your… _guy_?"

Obi-Wan snaps back, "He's not on the take or anything, I'm not either, but he knows things and I trust him."

Some of the venom returns. "That's not the Jedi way. You know that, and why did you — he was a criminal, I thought you — is it just because he's your _friend_, Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan feels a little jolt in his chest at the word_ friend_. Subtext. Definitely subtext. Because Obi-Wan knows about Anakin's deep seated crush on Senator Amidala. Which by the way is totally unacceptable. In any work capacity. Not even considering that they are Jedi.

But this night has been long enough and Obi-Wan is not going to convince Anakin that he's not in love with Dexter Jettster. He waves Anakin off. "Go back to the Temple and meditate or something. I don't know. I can't work with you when you're like this."

Anakin shakes his head. "No, I — "

"Anakin, you know I sit on the Council," Obi-Wan snaps. "And you know that you need _my_ vote if you want to take a Padawan of your own in."

"Tsch," Anakin grunts. "I'm strong enough to handle it."

"You are," Obi-Wan admits. "Far stronger than most, Anakin, which is why I'm giving you a hard time because you really do have a horrible attitude about everything."

* * *

Somehow, Anakin actually landed Grevious' gigantic warship on the landing stretch _and_ has Count Dooku's blood on his ledger _and_ saves the Chancellor. Of course, Palpatine is all over Anakin now, praising him. Ugh. Why don't you just rub his tummy or something you creep? (Obi-Wan doesn't like Palpatine too much.)

"Master? Master? Did you see that?" Anakin says breathlessly, hurrying after Obi-Wan who is really struggling to be anonymous so he can toss his hood on. "That's — that's… what?" He counts them off on his fingers. "_Twenty eight_! Twenty eight times I've saved your life now!"

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow and looks back to him. "Well — ahem — I've saved your life a few times I think, I just don't keep track because I don't need the recognition."

Anakin's face falls. "Aw, c'mon Obi-Wan. That was pretty cool, you gotta admit it."

"Yes, Anakin, you're good at everything," Obi-Wan sighs, slipping the hood over anyways.

But Anakin doesn't catch the hint, he just pivots around Obi-Wan to look him in the eye. "I am good at everything, you're right. Maybe — maybe I could become a Master. And then you won't have to deal with me anymore!"

Obi-Wan frowns. "I'm not sure which I like more; not having to deal with your nonsense, or you pathetically grovelling at my feet for attention."

Anakin's face immediately falls. "You're a mean bastard, you know that, right?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan brushes his sleeves. "So would you please _go_? Sheev over there wants to keep complimenting you and Imost certainly _don't_."

"Don't call Chancellor Palpatine _Sheev_," Anakin scratches his neck. "It's weird."

Obi-Wan cracks a grin and reaches out to tousle Anakin's hair. "You know, Anakin, if you want, you could come along with me and — "

" — and watch you make kissy faces at _Dexter Jettster_?" Anakin almost sneers. "No thanks, I'd much rather make kissy faces at Padme."

Oof, there it is. Awkward.

Obi-Wan runs a finger through his mustache, pinching the end of it. "Um — yes. Okay, you don't have to make fun, I know you're not dating Padme, it's just — you _do _make kissy faces at her."

"As do you, Master," Anakin smiles, though something livid won't keep out of his eyes. "At Dexter. Obviously." He brushes past Obi-Wan and re-emerges into the crowd to bask in glory.

Obi-Wan's walk down to Dex's takes about twenty minutes, twenty very boring minutes where he doesn't get to talk to Dex. When he does arrive, Dex immediately comes out of the kitchen with four mugs of coffee in his hands.

Obi-Wan immediately cracks up at the sight of it, but he does end up drinking all four mugs. He sits across Dexter and laughs a lot. There's business to discuss, something about where General Grievous is setting up shop next. But first they just talk. Always, they just talk.

Never about work either, about — life? Hard to say. Obi-Wan doesn't have to calculate when he's with Dexter, he's just _there_. It's really nice.

"How is Annie anyways? Haven't seen him in a while," Dexter shrugs, using one hand to demonstrate how short Anakin was the last time he saw him. Odd. Obi-Wan never thought about it that way, but yeah, Anakin stopped going to Dexter's pretty early in.

"He's, uh, still very annoying," Obi-Wan laughs it off and leans in. "He's actually the hero, not me. He landed that stupid thing, I figured we were going to die."

"Oof," Dexter sighs, but still smiling. "You must hate that, right?"

"What? The dread?" Obi-Wan shines back.

Dexter nods.

Obi-Wan cocks his head, and he ends up making a kissy face. (Blast it all, he wouldn't have caught himself if Anakin hadn't called him out like that.)

"Well you know what they say Dex… _another happy landing_."

* * *

The Jedi Temple is burning. It's bizarre, because the smoke plumes so high but there are no official statements. Chancellor Palaptine just seized executive power due to an attempt on his life, but Dexter never trusted that guy. He was such a… _politician_. From the way he appeared on the Holonet to the stories Obi weaved about him.

But it's dark and the rest of Coruscant is unaffected. No one seems to have cared about the Jedi after all.

But no one is at Dexter's Diner either. People are off the streets for some reason, a curfew maybe? Definitely not because of the smoke, Coruscant's air is polluted enough.

When boots pound into the gravel in uniform pattern, Dexter begins to worry. He runs fat fingers through the curtain and peeks through one of the dusty windows and sees a legion of those Cloners approaching, lead by a hooded man. Definitely a Jedi.

Dexter hopes it's not Obi. Hard to tell with the hood drawn, and Obi was definitely pals with those Cloners… from the sounds of it, those guys had a lot more personality than Dex gave them credit for.

But still, this can't be good. They turn and about-face at the entrance, and Dexter can hear some murmuring, possibly an argument. The hooded man is definitely not Obi at least, his voice is too low, too much of a growl. Apparently he wants to go inside the Diner but the Cloners are gently commanding him not to. Something about how the hooded man must keep himself a secret.

Regardless, Dexter rushes to the back and begins barking orders. He doesn't care that they barely break even here, his line cooks throw everything on the grill. Cook everything, brew everything, mix everything, get these guys out of here as soon as possible.

One of the Droids wheels herself over to the front when the door opens. She begins to chatter away, welcoming the new people, guiding them over to a table, and asking if they want anything to start, but something's wrong. Dexter peeks through the opening to the main floor and the Cloners aren't moving. The hooded man stays still, his lip curling up, lifting his cheekbones just high enough to catch in the fluorescents.

Then the hooded man pulls out his lightsaber and within a second, the Droid is chopped clean in two. Sparks fly, red hot metal burning into the tile. Guests all over rush to their feet, but the hooded man raises his hand and swipes at the air. All the guests tumble to their left in a heap, stools yanked from their bolted plates, and windows crash.

"Out," the hooded man whispers and everyone scrambles away. The Cloners remain still.

Dex stomps out onto the floor and glares the hooded man down. "What are you doing?!"

Maybe it's because the Jedi are gone — maybe Obi got hurt (Dex didn't even consider that, Obi's too tough to get hurt) — but maybe, the Jedi know about Dex's history with the Death Sticks scene because Obi-Wan can't protect him an…

The hooded man cackles and motions for Dexter to bow to him. When Dexter doesn't, a tremendous weight slams into his shoulders and his legs crumple out from below him. He looks up and narrows his eyes at this horrible man.

Another laugh, and the hooded man shoves off the hood, revealing beautiful brown locks sharply cut around his shoulders. A jagged scar down the cheek, and soulless eyes dance with his bobbing, mirthful smile.

"Annie?" Dexter whispers and the man nods, taking a knee before him.

"You know Dex, I should kill you," Anakin says with this sort of assumption that Dexter already knows _why_. When it's obvious Dex doesn't follow, Anakin continues, "Jedi are forbidden from love, yet you — in my New Order, maybe things will be different… but not for you."

Dexter presses his wide lips together. He's not saying anything to this monster.

"Come on, you idiot. Say something," Anakin snickers, fingers rolling the lightsaber back and forth.

Dex closes his eyes. Thinks about it. If he's going to die, then this must be clear.

"You hurt him so much, Annie."

The lightsaber stops rolling, the pupils dilate, the teeth clench.

"Does he know what you've done?" Dexter asks.

Anakin's mouth opens for an answer that doesn't come. Then the Cloners cut it off, one approaching Anakin with his blaster raised.

"That's enough," the Cloners says. "General Skywa—M-Master. Um. Our Commander has asked for you to remain anonymous. Too many people can see this."

Anakin gets up but doesn't face the Cloner. Just rolls his shoulders back and cracks his neck. Flashes one heinous grin at Dexter before turning around. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your programming, lieutenant?"

The Cloner stays still. Speechless. Impossible to read behind that helmet.

Anakin raises a gloved hand to the air, and the whole room shakes. A shelf tumbles, glass shatters, and a bottle falls into his hand. Some of the Jawa Juice. The lightsaber ignites and slashes off the cap, and the yellow liquid spills over Anakin's face. His throat wavers with each gulp and he doesn't stop until it's gone. Then he smashes the bottle in his hand, flicking the little shards to the floor, some red peeking out from behind shreds in the leather.

The room is so still.

Then it's not.

The lightsaber swings up and decapitates the Cloner, whose lifeless body tumbles besides his fallen head. The other Cloners fire at Anakin but the blaster bolts freeze in the air, shimmering, inches from knocking Anakin in the heart.

It's like some kind of glitch in reality. Dexter knew the Force was powerful, but that's _six_ bolts that move at the speed of _light_, and they stay _glued_ to their pockets of air. That is until Anakin cackles again and the bolts rip into the Cloners, killing all of them at once.

Anakin turns back towards Dexter and stoops down to his level. When Dexter won't meet his eyes, Anakin sneers and dips the lightsaber to Dexter's chin, riding up the scales until the head cranes up just enough to see him.

The blue light emanating from the saber makes Anakin's yellow eyes all the more piercing. He opens his mouth to say something but Dex speaks first, jaw pressing and burning against the saber, but that doesn't stop him.

"Get out of my diner, Annie."

The yellow leaves Anakin's eyes and suddenly he seems very pale. He stuffs the lightsaber away and straightens up, pushing the hood back over his face. "If you tell anyone about this Dexter, I will kill you."

Anakin turns on his heel and makes for the exit, and Dexter knows he should just stuff it, but he can't help himself. "And how exactly will you know that?"

Anakin freezes in the door, bloody fingers running up the metal hinges, as if testing to see if they are real. "Lord Vader knows, Dexter. He always knows…"

* * *

Obi-Wan is not sure why Yoda is leading them to Dexter's Diner, but that seems to be the case. Yoda says it has something to do with the traces of the Dark Side but… if Anakin had the time to slaughter children, why would he — ?

When they arrive, the place is in ruins. Scuff marks from serious burns run along the floor, cold wind blows in through the shattered windows, and everything is in pieces. His throat tightens, but he's blessed with immediate relief when Dexter walks out onto the floor, all four arms raised for what looks like a hug, but Obi-Wan stops that immediately. Gives a glance down to Yoda and Dexter catches the hint.

"Oh Dex…" Obi-Wan still sighs against his better judgment.

Yoda furrows his brow and looks between the two. "Know each other, you do?"

"Yes," Obi-Wan says, again against his better judgment. "I'm a — um — regular. Yoda, would you mind giving us a moment?"

Another tense silence, but then Yoda does something for the first time in probably years — he laughs. It's a very high, silly laugh. So out of character for him. But Obi-Wan looks down to Yoda, the little warrior, and sees the kindest eyes the man could possibly conjure.

"Be in big trouble you'd be, had Skywalker not done far, far worse," Yoda chortles with some finality, and then makes his way out the door.

Obi-Wan grins and looks back up to Dexter, rolling the cloak off his shoulders. "Dex, I'd like to make you some coffee. Could you show me how to use the machine?"

* * *

"All these years of making you coffee, I never thought you'd memorize how _I_ like it," Dexter says, utterly mystified when the two sit across each other at one of the few tables not blasted to pieces.

"It's not as hard as you'd think Dex," Obi-Wan smiles back and holds up his fingers. "One add-on for each arm."

"Hoho! I never thought of it like that," Dex bows his head and drinks up some of Obi-Wan's special coffee. The first and probably last time this will ever happen. Dex sort of knows where this is going somehow. "So… what didya want to talk about? Hopefully not your evil student."

Obi-Wan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, frame looser than ever. "I do have to talk about my evil student. Incidentally, I noticed you've been burnt on the chin. I'm guessing it wasn't from an accident with the frier."

"No," Dexter shakes his head. This sucks. Plain and simple.

"Dex, I — " Obi-Wan reaches his hand across the table and without a second thought, Dex slaps one massive mitt over it. Obi-Wan grins and stacks his left hand on top of Dex's, and is then overcome by Dexter's next hand. The bottom hand slips out and gets to the top and they run their hands up in the air until Dexter's finally runs out of limbs. The two laugh and Obi-Wan leans back, eyes glistening.

"I love you, Dex," Obi-Wan says.

Dexter nods. "I know."

Obi-Wan's throat tightens, Dexter can actually see it compress on itself from across the table.

"I have to find Anakin, and I have to stop him."

That one hangs in the air for a moment. Dexter ultimately decides to echo what he just said. "I know." He lets that settle. "But why?"

Obi-Wan's face is so red, appearing as raw as something flayed. "Because… because I did this, Dex. I didn't — I watched it happen and now I need to see to the end of it."

Dex's arms lash across the table and they all grip Obi-Wan's still outstretched hand, gently though. Dex knows humans, even ones as tough as Obi, are fragile.

"You listen to me, Obi," Dex leans in as far as his massive gullet will allow. "You can go be a hero again if you want to — but don't do it just because you think this is your fault."

Obi-Wan appears nonplussed.

"I looked him in the eyes, Obi," Dex sighs. "And I'll be honest — he may appear bad now, but that scariness? That's always been there. You couldn't stop that, how could ya?"

Finally, the color drains from Obi-Wan's face and the tears rush out.

* * *

Obi-Wan doesn't want to kill Anakin if he can help it, but the boy's not making it easy — for himself.

"_You underestimate my power!"_ he says, skin pulled tight across his skull.

"_Don't try it,_" Obi-Wan leans back and spreads his arms wide, trying to indicate that there's no way Anakin can win this now.

But Anakin does it anyways — because he never, ever listened — and he jumps. The moment he's airborne, all the opportunities present themselves to Obi-Wan. The legs, the arm, all in one sweep, gone. The body will smash against the charcoal laden hill and roll down into the lava where it will burn.

But at first, Obi-Wan hesitates. Because maybe he can save Anakin. Maybe there's still time. He could Force Push him back onto the platform, he could… he could…

No.

He remembers Dexter, and what he said about Anakin. How it felt when Dex's fingers ran through his thinning hair and massaged his scalp. How he promised him he'll come back if he lives, and oh, Obi wants to live. He wants to be free of this burden. He can't continue to worry about the fate of the universe, and this balance in the Force, and these prophecies, he's too tired for that...

So he does it. For a second, Obi-Wan decides to be selfish and he decimates Darth Vader in one fell swoop. Then he walks away.

…

But Obi-Wan doesn't go home. Because he misjudged something. It wasn't enough. Somehow Obi-Wan failed. Darth Vader lives. Padme dies. There are children, two too many. They have to be relocated, to be protected, because Anakin will come for them if he finds out.

Bail Organa takes Leia, and Obi-Wan is forever grateful. But there's no one left for Luke but the two kind people left on Tatooine. So Obi-Wan takes him there.

But that feels cruel. Anakin hated Tatooine, and to doom his son to grow there too?

He can't do it. He can't bring himself to leave this boy alone. Because Luke could become what Anakin was supposed to be — he can fix the Prophecy, restore balance to the Force, and — and — he's not sure — but it involves saving the world. Obi-Wan wants to be sure, but he's left with nothing else but his own intuition. Yoda ran off after all. No guidance.

Obi-Wans not selfish this time, that's what he tells himself. Dex doesn't know that he lived, and he certainly doesn't think that Darth Vader was vanquished…

Obi-Wan wants to choose love, he really does. But he's far past gone. Deader than the melting flesh he left on Mustafar. But Luke, and hopefully Leia too, they can love. They can change the world.

* * *

Nineteen years pass by.

It goes by faster than you'd think.

* * *

A band of rebels die delivering the plans that can ultimately destroy the Death Star. Perhaps it's unreasonable for Obi-Wan to feel this way, but he'd like to think that if Dexter were around, things would have been a lot easier for the rebels.

Obi-Wan is old now. For a long time, he used to care about grooming his hair to look a certain way, but now he just lets it thin into patches. He lets his skin get dry and his eyes get watery. He has a reputation for being crazy hermit, and he's okay with it. Less prying eyes.

His time is up, he senses it in the Force. The Death Star will destroy the Galaxy unless he — no, that's unrealistic — unless _Luke_ can stop it. So Obi-Wan begins preparations. He speeds them up once he discovers that R2D2 is once again on Tatooine, and in the hands of the Skywalkers…

Meaning the Empire is coming for them. Obi-Wan tries to remain cool at the sight of the little Droid, but that's the night Obi-Wan sets his bones. He goes to Mos Eisely alone to find out if there's anyone there worth his time, and there is. One of the regulars is this hotshot, Han Solo. Kind of an idiot, probably willing to bring him and Luke to Alderaan.

But Obi-Wan doesn't approach him. Just observes. In due time, he'll bring Luke here. But not yet. Because Obi-Wan wants to do one last selfish thing.

…

He goes to Coruscant. It's a very different city now, he almost gets lost. But when he finds that tin can on the side of the road still called Dexter's Diner, he remembers that he's here for a reason.

Obi-Wan asks the Droid waitstaff if the owner could bring him two coffees, and quickly finds himself a booth. On the way, he snags himself three sugars and one creamer. Then he waits.

The booth physically shifts when the old Besalisk shoves himself in. He settles the two mugs down and folds his four hands together, looking at Obi-Wan very sternly. Brow furrowed, jaw drawn in. Age impacts Besalisks a lot less than it does Obi-Wan.

There's recognition in Dexter's eyes, but maybe he's too scared to say something. Maybe he fears that something will happen if he dare mention the Jedi.

So Obi-Wan drags one of the mugs over and carefully empties the add-ons into the brew, and when no one is looking, he guides the mug back into Dexter's waiting hands with the Force. Immediately, Dexter's wide mouth opens into the delight of a baby, it makes Obi-Wan weep. A long crack forms along Obi-Wan's tired skin.

Obi-Wan folds his hands together, and opens his mouth. Suddenly, talking — and feeling — become easy for him. His voice is warm when it comes out.

"Hello there."

**Author's Note:**

> TBH, I always saw Dexter as a joke character so I was kind of worried when I got assigned this. But honestly, I had a blast writing this, so big ups to Thymesis for requesting this. I hope I did the pairing right for you. Apologies for all the Obi-Wan & Anakin stuff that kinda dominates this, I didn't realize until I started that I've always wanted to give their broken dynamic my own take.


End file.
